Franz Lohner's Chronicle - Thicker than Water

An absent-minded man of mysteries, Franz Lohner relies on his bulging journal to keep track of occurrences, intrigues and arguments around Taal's Horn Keep. Sometimes his notes are even useful, believe it or not. The Franz Lohner Chronicles are extracts from that journal.

I’m very glad to say that our resident murder-elf seems to have stabilised a bit for the first time since she made those highly suspect life choices. I mean, call me old fashioned, but I just can’t rightly see what good she was expecting to come from pledging herself to a bunch of divine homicidal crones. 

On the other hand … Kerillian was always pretty near homicidal and time catches up with even elves eventually, so maybe it’s some kind of what those Altdorf bureaucrats call “succession planning”? Though you’ll note they don’t do it around Karl Franz, who quite rightly favours the view that succession planning and the Imperial Throne have too often proven an explosive combination. Literally, on occasion. I guess it’s probably the same for elves, and maybe even elf gods. The way things are going, might be the current pantheon’s on the way out and our Kerillian’s looking to elevate herself from the post mortal to the definitely divine.

Now that’s a thought. Kerillian, Goddess of Not Suffering Fools. My old mother would have signed up at once.

If that is Kerillian’s game, I do hope she takes care. As I understand it, elf gods are all one big happy family … only without the happy. That pantheon’s a real brouhaha of murdered children, questionable marriages, backstabbing, frontstabbing, anything-stabbing and grudges that would make a dwarf blush. 

Take Ereth Khial, who took Asuryan’s rejection so hard she started hoarding the souls of the dead. Or Drakira, the Queen of Vengeance. I bet she’s a riot at family reunions. Or Anath Raema, who isn’t so choosy about what she hunts. And don’t get me started on Khaine, who’s long been a byword for “keep your eyes on the stabby little bleeder” across several continents. And don’t get me started on the Cadai. It’s a long-established fact that Asuryan only talks to his people through cryptic fiery messages. Sounds like the sort who nails snarky little notes to the larder door if you ask me.

All told, I reckon the only reason the Chaos Gods have any chance at destroying this anarchic little marble we all call home is because the elf gods are too busy squabbling to put up a united front. Stands to reason, don’t it? There’s only four Chaos Gods and a whole bunch of elf ones. But no … true to elf form, they’d much rather play pointless games with one another than get stuck in and help out when help’s needed. 

I can’t believe that I saying this, but maybe Kerillian getting elevated to divine status wouldn’t be such a bad idea? Wouldn’t be the first time it’s happened around Athel Loren after all. And it’s not like Sigmar was born a god, is it? A god would have had a better beard right from the start. It’s an important part of wisdom, having a beard. Ask anyone.

Only downside to it all is that she’d be more insufferable than ever. 

Maybe it’s better to let the world slide into hel after all.