Franz Lohner’s Chronicle - Mad Hatters

An absent-minded man of mysteries, Franz Lohner relies on his bulging journal to keep track of occurrences, intrigues and arguments around Taal's Horn Keep. Sometimes his notes are even useful, believe it or not. The Franz Lohner Chronicles are extracts from that journal.

My aching head! Had an old mate of Kruber’s stop by the keep last night, and let’s just say that the fellow can drink. I bowed out early - some time after the fifth cask of Bugman’s (Bugmans, Bugmans’? I can never remember, and it’s not like the brewery’s consistent) was broached – and still I’m left with a big old foggy cloud where my memory should be.

— Oho. The markedly unladylike retching coming from the balcony suggests that Kerillian’s come up for some fresh air. Can’t hold her drink, that elf. Then again, she puts it away faster than anyone I’ve know. Mark of a guilty conscience, I guess. —

Anyway, before I left the rest of the rabble to their libations, this mate of Kruber’s - fellow by the name of Albertus Traub – was telling tales about how the grand muster’s gone out all across the Empire. Every man and boy of serving age expected to report for militia duty. Now, I’ve seen this done before, but normally town by town, and never above the state level. For the entire Empire to be looking at mobilising? Well, that’s just more proof that things are in a bad way. 

Traub, like Kruber, is an ex-mercenary by trade. Only, while Kruber’s headed in a direction we could probably describe as “even more freelance”, Traub’s a muster herald, so he’s been travelling the length and breadth of the nation delivering the unwelcome news. No wonder he drinks. I’d drink a lot too, under those circumstances. He’s a good bit posher than our Markus - I know, not a high bar to pass – and at first I didn’t really see what drew them together. And then they started talking about hats. 

Did you know there’s a difference between a Hochland high brim and a Wissenland one? Nor me, but I do now. In all the mind-melting detail I could cheerfully have done without. I’ve heard all about the proper art of feather maintenance, plume management and the proper application of oil to make sure that a head warmer stays waterproof but doesn’t lose its particular shape. And don’t get me started about the relative merits of Imperial and Bretonnian millinery (Kruber’s on the fence, by the way, while Traub’s Imperial through and through, in case you wondered).

I suppose I should be grateful that the little things can still be appreciated, even when the world’s falling apart. Just a miserable old curmudgeon, that’s me. 

Besides, everyone knows that Tileans make the best hats.