Franz Lohner’s Chronicle – A Message from Okri

An absent-minded man of mysteries, Franz Lohner relies on his bulging journal to keep track of occurrences, intrigues and arguments around Taal's Horn Keep. Sometimes his notes are even useful, believe it or not. The Franz Lohner Chronicles are extracts from that journal.

Well, this is one of them red letter days. Literally, I mean, because I’ve had another missive from Okri in its usual natty red envelope. At least, I think I have. It’s hard to be certain of a letter’s provenance when you’ve never seen its author. Harder still when said letter shows up in a variety of unusual ways. 

Okri - and let’s assume it is Okri, for the sake of sanity and wotnot - is an inventive soul. I’ve had letters sent down the chimney. Delivered by couriers of all shapes and sizes. Although that ogre had eaten half the envelope before I wrangled it off him, price of dying it in blood, I suppose. Carrier pigeon, that was another one. Bardin ate it, as I recall. The book of challenges was dropped off by airship, or so I understand. It was a cloudy day. Endless ingenuity at work. I admire a fellow who puts in the effort, if I’m honest.

Anyhow, everyone’s totally real dwarf has a new task for our delightful Ubersreik Five. Seems that a few grudges have gone past the point of aging gracefully, and have now become urgent business. Specifically, there’s a bunch of monstrous individuals lolloping around, and Okri has marked them for death. A Grudge Mark, if you will - and I would, if I could.

Alas, the hunting of ferocious beasties is long behind this grizzled grey head of mine, but it sounds like a splendid way for the Five to keep themselves limber, doesn’t it? Everyone wins. Okri gets his grudges settled. The Ubersreik Five get a bit of much needed exercise. And me? Well, never you mind. It’s win-win. Well, not for the monsters, but I think we can count them as being acceptable casualties, all things considered. Not that they’ll be easy targets - these are the worst of the worst, with a bevy of cruel characteristics that’ll keep our heroes on their toes. 

Should be fun. Worthy of song, even. Might even have another crack at poetry, if I’m stirred to it. Five Go Slaughtering Monsters. Not sure about that as a title, but you’ve got to start somewhere. 

Of course, I’ll have to be a bit more circumspect about the particulars this time. I don’t want to set Kerillian off, as she’s not one to respect the bounds of poetic licence. We’ll keep it all anonymous this time around. Yes! That’s the stuff of folk tales: desperate danger, slavering monsters, plucky heroes - an unspoken whiff of romance between Cerrilian the archer and Kroober the proud knight. All carefully separated from reality, and thus old Franz safe from the doghouse.

And if it all goes wrong, I’ll just blame Okri. It’s not like anyone’s to know better, is it?